Meaning of "त" in Vayulekhan
Audio 1: https://nitaimusic.files.wordpress.com/…/e0a4a4-meaning-in-… (Duration: 11 Min 31 Sec)
Jay Nitai ! Hare Krishna! Jay Guruparampara! While doing Nitai Vayulekhan in my Nitai Gufa in Radhakund, i had this persistent realization that Nitai is so eager to start plowing our heart. The stroke five of Nitai Nam just looks like the plow of Nitai Balaram. Lord Gauranga Mahaprabhu saw that plow in His dream, in the hands of the great personality Nitai Balaram. So this plow is situated right in our heart. There are many gross anarthas and subtle anarthas like the desire for name, fame, reputation, the desire to mass followers, the desire to receive praise, the desire to be better than others, the feeling of sadness by seeing others more advanced than us. Para sukha dukhi. So these are very very subtle things which are described in amar jiban song. So these are like small rocks, small stones and pebbles in our heart but the smaller they are, the more longer they remain, more difficult it is to remove them. That is why in Gundicha margin, Lord Gauranga cleansed the bigger impurities first and then very carefully the smaller ones. So Gauranga does this only for Krishna, His beloved but Nitai does it for every living entity who does His vayulekhan. He removes the heavy bolders like our false ego and our lust, anger, greed and all this gross vices which lead to sin, He removes them. Because we touch Nitai, we are doing His sewa, sewa to Nitai, so Nitai makes it HIs sewa to start clearing our heart of all this anarthas, That is why it is the fifth stroke.
As the plow moves, the plow has to go many many time on the field and then the field becomes uniform. So Nitai, He obliterates the big bolders and then whatever fine subtle impurities are remaining in our heart, He just removes them by giving us the superior bliss of touching His name in vayulekhan. Because of that happiness all this big and small bolders and impurities and pebbles are removed forever. So it is very important that we concentrate on this fifth stroke with lot of pleading to Nitai, please plow my heart to your own satisfaction. Please make it completely pure and a suitable place for you and Gaur Radha Krishna to manifest Their pastimes.
So i had this realization while doing Vayulekhan that when i was writing "त" , i felt that Nitai has tears in His eyes and Nitai is so eager to plow our hearts. He is so eager to plow our heart than we are to let Him plow our heart. He is more eager to start it as soon as possible. He is just waiting for us. Like it is said in Gita the parmatma is simply waiting for us dadāmi buddhi-yogaḿ taḿ, yena mām upayānti te (BG,10.10). So Nitai is just waiting and immediately when we give Him the control, give Him the chance to start plowing our heart by writing the fifth stroke in the air, immediately without single moment delay, He as our humble menial servant, He starts plowing our heart, making it purer and purer, clearer and clearer until it becomes like a mirror. ceto-darpana-marjanam (Sri Siksastakam). In ceto-darpana-marjanam, we have to clean the mirror with Shri Krishna sankirtanam. in vayulekhan, Nitai cleanse the our mirror, so which is better? With the plow.
And i was having this realization today in the rikshaw, strange place to ave realization but still that when we are writing "त", its like the dust is accumulated on the mirror and if you move one finger over that dust, you will see a line which is formed on that mirror and that is the line where the mirror is actually visible to you. Similarly, the more you write, do vayulekhan, the more you write the fifth syllable, the more Nitai will plow in different regions of your heart in the internal crevices of your heart and you will realize that. your heart will become like the water in the sanat season, pond water. Very very clear! You can even see the stones at the bottom of the lake. So you will be able to see everything. Your own constitutional position, your service, your pastimes with the lord. I mean literally all the Lord will dance in our heart. Because if Nitai clean something then all the Lords will come, not only Nitai, He will brig everyone. Wherever there is Nitai, anyway Gauranga is there. That is why the 6th stroke is Nitai and the 7th stroke is Gauranga and the 9th stroke is Radha Krishna. So plow is the cause for this. The 5th stroke is very crucial because after the 5th stroke comes the 6th,7th and the 9th, all the three Lords They stand in our heart, their Lotus Feet touches our heart. And beyond that i cannot explain you, you have to realize yourself. So with full humility and beseech Nitai when you write the fifth syllable to really, i know its very shameful to take sewa form Nitai, to ask Nitai to clean our heart, very shameful. Just like Krishna says śṛṇvatāḿ sva-kathāḥ kṛṣṇaḥ puṇya-śravaṇa-kīrtanaḥ hṛdy antaḥ stho hy abhadrāṇi vidhunoti suhṛt satām (SB 1.2.17). I will clean the heart of somebody who is hearing my kathas very attentively, i will clean it personally. Nitai makes it even easier, just by doing vayulekhan, Nitai will personally cleanse our heart. And i know asking sewa to Nitai is not good but that is the only way we can get real sewa to Nitai, the eternal sewa, our eternal service. So that is known as spiritual selfishness. Its not the selfishness of this material world but we are asking Him to plow our heart so that we can serve Him with a pure heart. We can always see Him in our heart.
idam te vapur nātha gopāla-bālam, sadā me manasy āvirāstām kim anyaiḥ (Verse4, Damodarastakam), Satyavrit Muni in this damodar mas, he prays that may the form of bal Gopal always manifest and play in my heart. He is praying because he has already attained that position. He already can see the Lord in his heart, we cannot so we have to and only Nitai can help us to reach that stage because He has the club also. Sometimes when the farmer is plowing the field there are very very big stones like even the plow cant go forward, the plow gets stuck. So then the farmer has to get down and break those stones. The farmer does not have a club, maybe a hammer or something. So Nitai takes the club and smashes our ego which is blocking the plow from working. We are causing resistance to Nitai when He starts cleaning our heart. He says no no, my ego is hurting, dont clean! I dont want to become humble. Nitai will smash that ego. So club is for bigger operations and plow is for smaller operation. Both are used by Nitai. And Nitai is so humble that those even the smallest impurities which dont get removed by His plow, He Himself puts His lotus feet in our heart in form of the sixth stroke. And He Himself bends down or purifies us by His touch of lotus feet and He lifts even the finest of all impurities until we see Gauranga Mahaprabhu in the seventh stroke. We see Him face to face and Nitai is very happy, now my brother and me can rest in his heart of my jiva.
So i am sorry for just going on and on but some small realization i had about त , the fifth syllable of निताइ. I hope all of you know which syllable i am talking about. So let me know what realizations you are having about त and i am sure they are much better than mine. And i will be happy and ecstatic to hear those because what we have realized the last so many months of sharing that every vayulekhak has a very very unique realizations which are like infinite because Nitai Nam is infinite and this process is infinite because it is manas dhyan, so please share. Let the whole world call us whatever they want to call but realizations we experience during vayulekhan are genuine. Why they are genuine because they arise on their own svayam eva sphuratyadaḥ. We dont sit down to do vayulekhan with confirmed imagination that i will think about this. No! That is mechanical but in vayulekhan they arise on there own. We never plan it that we will think about it. So those realizations are genuine. And if you dont get those realizations then you can atleast remember the realizations that other advanced devotees are getting and one day you will get even better realization. And then Harinam will be like Ganga. It will be like flowing and flowing with bliss in japa and kirtan. Thankyou very much. Jay Nitai! Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare! Jay Guruparampara !
(Transcription: Meaning of "त" in Vayulekhan
By Srila Nitaipreshthji, October 12, 2016)