Many devotees practice Bhakti Yoga because of the social opportunity and community experience of meeting and being with other devotees, or for being with their better-halves in Bhakti, not to turn inwards and awaken their individual, dormant, internal, and eternal relationship with Harinam and Nitai. Preaching is important, but till when will I keep on sacrificing my quest to go more and more deeper into internal lila remembrance, just to preach to or meet neophyte devotees, who simply can’t understand the depths of my katha; don’t, can’t, or simply won’t take my kathas or instructions seriously no matter how pure or urgent they are; and who keep pulling my consciousness back to the mundane plane?
If it were possible, which it is not, I would personally prefer to go deeper and deeper into lila remembrance in a solitary place, and only associate with those devotees who are very advanced and attached to Harinam, Nitainam Lekhan, Lila Shravan-Kirtan, and Dhamvas; serious and internal in remembrance; simple-hearted; and especially renounced from materialistic relationships. For all others, I can record audio kathas and write books with my deepest lila remembrance, and they can hear or read them if they so desire to get my association through vani.
Sometimes I feel that doing Harinam or Nitainam Lekhan together with devotees is the real way to answer all their questions. And even when I do katha, I should just close my eyes and go deeper in my own remembrance, not expecting anything from anyone.
PS. The above is just an outburst of my heart, which I just wanted to pen down, even though I know that I may never be able to practically do this way, simply because I care deeply to serve every single soul who turns to Nitainam Lekhan for Harinam Ruchi even slightly.